Will I emerge?

Or is it still time stand still..

Vacation does that to me...Even though my holiday ended two weeks ago, I am still there..I can blame retro mercury, (which has just turned direct) or I can just accept the fact that I need a lot of leisure time, much more than my ambitious me would like to appreciate..So this part of myself goes into fear...yeahyeah...hehe-.--

The vacation has been wonderful, despite the little place of guilt within that is struggling for survival, but knows that it can't survive the light of love that keep working in me, healing whatever inner enemy I got..

During this holiday, which felt like the first real time "off" that I have had since I was a kid, I realised how little I have been able to really relax these years..Not that I have achieved a lot, succes as seen in the eyes of society has obviously not been my thing..I seem to be here to work on my attachments, and my overly ambitious side has been a pain in the ass, I can't create with attachment to outcome anymore..

So this vacation I retrieved my soul again, letting myself beyond being someone, something, and just lie in the sun hearing the birds and the bees...Allthough my ego is crying letting go of former sources for experiencing power, my soul is delighted as I truly enjoy the fullness of living..

I do not where I am going, but I know now what I am leaving behind...