Gaia Community: Sol's Blog

Second wave.

Fri, 07 Nov 2008 20:49:59 -0000

My cave
is silent.
It is lit
with a single candle
slightly registering the wind
coming from the opening
far away somewhere-

My mind
settles
away from all storms
all economies
all killings
all meaningsless blah-blah
interior magasines
all the multiple details of a lifeforce relentlessly recreating patterns.

My heart
once more
opens to the vast
kingdom
of the only true King,
my King, my home, my refuge, my house, my friend, my love.

Aware and silent
I receive again.
The bliss of nothing.
The only thing being still.

Friendship.

Sun, 26 Oct 2008 06:35:29 -0000

From Mikey's blog:

THEY SAY IT TAKES A
MINUTE TO FIND A SPECIAL
PERSON,
AN HOUR TO
APPRECIATE THEM,
A DAY
TO LOVE THEM,
BUT THEN ,

AN ENTIRE LIFE
TO FORGET THEM

Yup...that is right...

In and out

Sun, 19 Oct 2008 10:28:21 -0000

In and out
of comfortzones.

Both applies.
As I meet you on this road.
One moment feeling saturated and safe
the next
the safety poses a threat,
as if it in itself is what scares me the most.

How can being safe, be the same
as being on the edge?
How can filled
be the same as emptied, devoid familiarity.?

Am I afraid of being satisfied,
do I suspect
that this state of ease
will turn my engines off?

How do we keep the steams fuming?
How do we fire up our souls?
How do we keep the passion burning?
When love is beyond the game.

Perhaps that it might just be that I find sweetness
in being rejected.

Comfortable rejection.

Sweet love, I love u so, u give me all, all that I need,
I am filled, satisfied, chocolade, flowers, wine and tender love...

And it seems
we are not sleepwalking, numbed and dumb by too much comfort..

I want to live on the edge...

Saturn, the Dweller on the Threshold.

Sun, 14 Sep 2008 20:13:07 -0000

"Amid the whirling forces, I stand confused.
I know them not, for, during all my past, they swept me
up and down the land wherein I moved, blinded and unaware.
From place to place and point to point, they drove me up and down
the land and nowhere was there rest.
I know them now and here I stand and will not move
until I know the Law which governs all this movement
up and down the land. I may revolve and turning face
the many different ways; I face some wide horizons
and yet today, I stand.
I will determine for myself the way to go. Then onward I will move.
I will not travel up and down the land, nor turn in space.
But onward I will move. "

Puppetji

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 10:48:13 -0000

hehehehehehe, he has got a point...People, watch this...

Bliss

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 05:10:59 -0000

is Danish as far as I can remember. And yes, they are known for being particularly good at enjoying life in Denmark.

Saturday Seva Music

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 11:46:45 -0000

Merging

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 09:37:52 -0000

I feel you.
You are like a breeze that gently dances through my window.
I am breathing.
It is all I do.
I lie here
receiving
God, you.

We dance together
among stars and lights and other wonders
I close my eyes
and let myself go
receiving
God, you.

The Lovers
walk in quiet prayer
Each step they take
is a step of grace
Each word they speak
is a word of truth
Each song they sing
is in gratitude.

I am you.

Girl from Ipanema

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 06:43:16 -0000

I sometimes dream that I sing..these are the most amazing dreams that I have..They are beyond lucid..They have texture, taste, sound, they vibrate...

This morning I dreamt that I sang this song for a dear friend..This was one of the first songs that I ever sang in public..And it has been with me ever since..Even though it seems easy to sing, it is actually quite hard to get a hold of..I would love to be able to sing it in portugese..Such a cool language..Sound so sweet when Jobim sings the first verse..

I think I need to get a hold of some musicians very soon, I feel something is brewing..

Compassion

Wed, 11 Jun 2008 09:03:22 -0000

Love wants to reach out and manhandle us,
break all our teacup talk of god.
If you had the courage and could give the beloved his choice,
some nights, he would just drag you around the room by your hair,
ripping from your grip all those toys in the world that bring you no joy.

Love sometimes gets tired of speaking sweetly
and wants to rip to shreds all your erroneous notions of truth
that make you fight within yourself, dear ones, and with others
causing the world to weep on too many fine days.

God wants to manhandle us,
lock us inside of a tiny room with himself and practice his dropkick.
The beloved sometimes wants to do us a great favor:
hold us upside down and shake all the nonsense out.
But when we hear, he is in such a "playful drunken mood"
most everyone I know quickly
packs their bags and hightails it out of town.

HAFIZ, the Gift

Hehe, drag you by your hair...yes...

Ok

Sat, 07 Jun 2008 20:21:21 -0000

Q: Yes, then how to be happy?

A: "Demonstrate a very sincere wish to know God and the truth, do as much as possible to connect with a higher power in a direct experience. Then connect the personal wish with the power of the supreme will, develop the awareness of what that supreme power wants to create through the soul, and just do it. This is happiness!" (Jeffrey Wolf Green)

Orrrrrhh...That totally rocks :)

It

Wed, 04 Jun 2008 08:27:53 -0000

The word is no longer a word
it is life
movement
cycles
straight lines
endings
beginnings
breathe in
breathe out
changing
yet immovable
I have always been.

Getting the point
is easy
living it is another thing
will you postpone
or let go and merge?

Let the creative juice
of life flow
let the nectar of love
reveal all the joy you are
Let us play
in this wonderful
sunshine
Of Gods eternal magic..

:)

The beetle is back...

Tue, 03 Jun 2008 10:10:18 -0000

How sweet is this song on a scale from one to ten? Threehundred you say? But there is not threehundred....:)P

Quite ironic "when I am 64", John died and prevented Yoko from ever smiling again, and Linda died, and then Paul married the other girl with one leg, and all hell broke loose....

Life...

..Some make it till 64 and still laugh at eachothers jokes...

This video is kind of strange, I have no idea what Julian Lennon does in it, it looks very funny though... But just to enjoy the song, I wouldn't watch it, just listen to the sweet voices of John and Paul and that fantastic clarinet..I love clarinets...Such a soft, gentle and humorous sound..

This particular clarinet makes me smile..

chiron is stirring my wound

Mon, 02 Jun 2008 06:54:11 -0000

The healing continues, my whole soul and being is stirred by the emotions that surface..There is a certain feeling that comes and goes in me, and that is loneliness..I have been the outsider all my life, and now, more than any other time in my life, this feeling has a tendency to come to me, mostly because the triggers are everywhere and I am a single mother with two small children...I give a lot..Now I feel I need to receive something again..

I was out all day yesterday, and there where people everywhere..I would be much happier on the countryside, with the birds and the skies, and not be reminded of those who always group up and hang around with their peeps...I have some friends in this life, offcourse, but most of the time,I am alone..And I don't mind being alone, but loneliness is when you feel that you have nothing for yourself..All the way, my inner layer, is solitude...Not just only I walk around in dimensions people rarely, if ever visit, my family, my father and my mother that is, lives in another town..My only brother is dead...I have no workcolleagues, the other families in this area are their own small community, this community is not reflecting my values at all...I guess I mostly long for a spiritual reflection in my life, someone who agrees with me..hehe..I don't know..What I know is that chiron is stirring my wound, and that I again have a chance to step out of it and into life again..Ground, and accept life as it is...I am not alone I keep telling myself, but in many ways, I am...And I need to accept that...I find most people boring, I don't know if they make themselves boring, or if they are..And it is okey, I am probarly boring or incomprehensible to most anyway....I never ment to be so peculiar..I came to this planet in love, and still, despite the ignorance , I still am myself.....I toss myself out into the dance again and again, working towards the light , even it it means I have to listen to the boring people..I don't think it is a waste of time, I see them, I have always been good at seeing people as they are on a deeper level, and that is not boring..What they say is boring, they true selves are never boring..But then again, I could never live with one of them, I would die..I need an oasis to come home to...A place where I can just be who I am, as weird as I am, and be understood...

I am not trying to fight the world as it is..People are ok...Most of them are sweet and nice and all, I am not feeling better nor worse than anyone..But I do feel slightly different..This is an inherited syndrom..My father always sais:"I am born in the wrong century" (meaning he should have been born in this current one)

The wound is open today..And what to do?...I accept it...It is okey, there is nothing to do..I cannot fake, and say it isn't so..It is..Some days..And God might have something goody up his sleeve..Who knows...I let go...So that I once again can receive...

Yup...This day allready feels better..It is an illusion, but man, it is surely a cunning one..Almost gets me everytime..

So good luck working with your own negative projections...They are here to be deflated...

Amen.,.

Taxes done....

Sun, 01 Jun 2008 08:15:05 -0000

Yup...Did it...45 min before I had to turn in my tax, I pushed the send button..And I did it all by myself this year, no accountant..It was so easy that it makes me wonder why I paid someone to do it all these years..Yeye, so now I can go back to using my mind to something really interesting instead, I am coming back to my favorite place in myself, the artist in me, the astrologer in me...Ahh, home sweet home, hehe..I have decided though, that I need to work more with the buisnessperson in me, if I ever want to keep living my life as an artiste....Time to promote..

Sooooo, when I do my taxes, and I can do my own thing, what happens..I feel guilty..I am just, he?
So, why feel guilty about having and creating and using the system to my advantage..Do I feel guilty because I have a job that I more or less see as my third arm...I enjoy myself...I receive...That is what makes me feel guilty...It is my service to the world, it is who I am, and service is joy, and joy, wow, I deserve it...

---So do all of us----

These are subtleties that I have been working on for many years: worth, receptivity, love, abundance...It is like I am moving eaons of puritanism and control out of my system, and really let the Godess power come through again....Let things come to me, and refine my talent, create , create.....And listen to that inner vocie that know so very well what is the next step..And be, as my gaiafriend Sol (another Sol) would say, be emotionally brave...
You can't pretend courage, nor anything else, cos you know deep within that it is just words and no substance...The subtance comes when you fill yourself with the energy and toss out what doesn't serve you anymore..Like you are not worthy..If you let yourself go down the drain, and abuse the energy that you are, maybe yes, it is possible that you are worthless, cos you treat yourself like there is no purpose to your existence, trying to nullify the fact that all matter,that we all affect eachother..We are fluid energy, it doesn't matter what you earn, or what you work with, your service to the world is the energy that you are.....Destruction is easy, creating takes you to the next level, to the level of God, it is a conscious effort...So God wants something through you..Non-doing, just waiting for things to come to you, is sweet , good, for the either lazy or for the cowards.. There is a sort of futility in this way of living..It is easy to become a victim in this position..
Taking back control and extending yourself into the world, letting your true voice come through, and stop comparing yourself to others, is the key to get the energy moving.
Trust ; you give your trust to the world..Just like love..It is a choice..You can choose to let the negative imprinting of your emotional history run the show, or you can work on getting the gravtitation back to the core of your spirit..Takes some cleaning, but that is part of being a human....We are vulnerable and instinctual beings, and very sensitive..Sensitivity is good, it is bliss, it is where you meet God, but at the same time, when you're not in balance with yourself, sensitivity becomes your worst enermy..It is all a play of consciousness..Release, and move through the days without attachment...Every moment is a rebirth, every breath is a rebirth, all can change...The more aware you are of these movements, the more you align with God..And the power to create, not destroy..In every breath, there is a creative light..

A friend of mine is working towards his heart's passion , to be able to live music, and he is no mediocre musician, he is really good, but he has a neurotic tendency that he needs to overcome in order to get there, not stopping himself...He doesn't enjoy the process..It is filled with contradictions, but in this tension he grows..It is just what the doctor ordered for him to grow, it is the challenge..Without the challenge there is no growth..Maybe he is afraid to really let go of the fear , cos then there would be no challenge, and maybe, no music..hehe..He would start to play again, and blossom further, so I think he will be filled with gratitude when he sees that the next level, is not the end..The end...he? hehehe, yeah right..hehehe..Makes me roll over laughing..We are funny, we take everythin so seriously, taking ourselves too serious, thinking it is the end when we meet obstacles..
One fragment at the time, that is what we get...Stay in it, enjoy it, and expect something magical to happen..Then, and first then, when you settled your emotional turbulence, will the books like the Secret (not that I read it) ever work for you...

He asked me when he would be ready..When you stop asking for it? Now.?..Before you think you are ready that is for sure...Evolution will pull you out of the comfortzone..What is the point in guarantees? There are no guarantees...How could you ever be the Creator if you where attached to guarantees? You don't need guarantees, you need to see that you create, you are the creator..When there is a situation that is bad, you turn the wheel, whether it is your career or your lovelife..

One thing though...You will have to be willing to grow and to make mistakes...That is one of the biggest obstacles humanity faces...People deny their own growth alltogether, and then cancer blossoms..

Evolution happens whether you want it or not..It will either blow up in your face, or you can take it step by step, consciously and aware...People prefer to have it all blow up in their faces.
hehehe..I do that...At least in some areas, like in my lovelife..In my last relationship I created on a subconscious level a catharsis, cos I wasn't courageous enough to step out of it when I first heard the siren call...But it is all okey, that was growth as well...Having things blow up is sometimes the only solution...We were seriously stagnated..So God had to intervene while we were sleeping..Wonderful, despite the intesity..

I am at least three inches taller now..

Ane Brun

Thu, 29 May 2008 04:41:52 -0000

This norvegian woman has one of the most intense voices I know of...

Enjoy, the pieces of the puzzle...:)
Love, the great adventure, a ride with many momentums..

Respect.

Wed, 28 May 2008 09:19:14 -0000

I go deeply into myself and reflect back on my own energy..This is a very intense spot to be, because while I see my own immaturity , I can easily fall into the trap of judging myself, finding myself not worthy or becoming overly guilty, repenting..Instead of using the power of love, and release myself there and then...Right now the mirror is so clean and so sensitive, that it reflects back all, almost even before it happens..This is the place I am going..Allthough I feel like walking water..

I work a lot on respect..Respecting all..Respecting my children..A though one..I wasn't grown in respect, so I am unlearning and relearning..Which is okey, it is just incredibly intense from time to time..Like today..I sat down to meditate after I took Mikael (my son) to kindergarden..And the issues that we had this morning surfaced..I asked for forgiveness, I got angry with him today..And he is a sensitive soul..But he can be very demanding, and take out all the light when others need it..So he needs a lot of attention..Giving it to him in a balanced way is my challenge..I don't want to feed the "see me"-monster , cos that will not serve him..

So , how do I put down the correct boundaries, and respect him? When he wont listen, it is easy to loose patience, and then loose respect..

Like my ex----aaahhhh, jeeeez, he has been my "gradutation" in respect..I grew up with disrespect, not the grave kind, but enough, to see what abuse is..A lack of respect is abusing the energy..I wasn't respectful of him in the beginning, but I took my lesson and stopped patronizing him, I let myself evolve..I would never disrespect him in front of the children or anybody else, even though I know he wont pay attention to his own projections the way that I do, his time to learn these things will come, I am sure...
I still work on respect..Respect...Respect..The food that I eat..The way I use my own body, my words, my feet.....The people that I know...My work, my talents...Respecting God...And life..

And above all, respecting love..

It is a fabolous piece of work this life of ours..:)

We are totally selfcreating and selfcorrecting...Love is the way...Always...

It is summer, ajajaj

Tue, 27 May 2008 06:05:53 -0000

Sweet summervibe....This is warm...

Be happy

Mon, 26 May 2008 08:55:16 -0000

It is all a play of consciousness...

This video is too cute...And the song is really ol' schoolish takeoff...(again, warning, hooking up the stereo is an advantage, if you ever got the urge to see this)
lovelovelove
In-joy....

The power to change.

Sat, 24 May 2008 06:20:13 -0000

Yes, the power to change..I have it....When I come home to my hometown, it is really noticeable how much I have changed, and then not changed at all..There has always been an aspect of "that which never dies" in my life..I rememeber it from when I was fourteen, and my mind started walking away from the common interests, my natural expression came to me in its very first conscious-unconscious ways..Then astrology came, given to me first by my father, then later on, through the teachers that I found resonated with my own inner voice, and then, one thing after another emerged from my being, and projected itself onto existence..It was getting apparent what is immortal, unchangeable, yet still developing in me..It is that which never dies..This is the function of pluto, take you back to your original source, to your natural expression, to that which never dies..This happens sooner or later to all human beings, it is just a matter of time..

That which is in accordance with your Soul, will manifest easily..It will come to you..And you will work on trusting that it is right..Astrology came to me, all that I have ever done with astrology has been floating..I still have to go through the process of trust, my ego holds back..Is it the ultimate?
I have had a period lately where I have felt really full, and needed a break, but still then, astrology roams in the back of my mind, and reemerges, in a fuller expression, and the work that I do on myself, makes me a better tool for serving through astrology..And more challenge is given to me..I recently emerged back to serving again, after having to deal with a lot of changes on a personal level, and without me doing very much, except write a great deal, they called me from the Norvegian Astrology Association and wanted me to be a part of their team..I have been published before..First article I ever wrote was published..Now I can write as many articles that I want, I am a part of their staff..hehe..Fantastic..Just the challenge that I needed...superduperIamhappyasyouhavenoidea...So now I am plunging into pluto..Great fun for an astronerd...

When you see my own chart, you will see that writing is both what I love, but also what pushes a lot of buttons..Am I intelligent enough, integrated enough, are these my own words?

So being here on Gaia, blogging, mailing, having my own astrologyblog, all this has been tools to move into my own spirit and write from my own experience, not wanting to say what I think people want to hear, not wanting to please, to be approved of.Move away for the ego gravitational point...This touches very deeply into my own emotional nature, being who I am , coming from where I come from..Rejection is what I fear..So I take steps out in the world, seeing that i am welcome and that my work has some meaning for some..I am growing stronger, also a plutoexpression..And if there is rejection, there is..I can't stop just because of that..Not everybody will resonate..That is okey..

So, move into the immovable..Pluto will retrograde back into sagittarius again very soon and we will all have the oppurtunity to align with our natural expression again..Go there...

Death/that which never dies.

Bring your attention o looking inside yourself to that which never dies. You are now ready to let go of what has died or gone. Forget about trying to bring it back, and don't take it personal that it is gone.

Buddha's miracles are totally different from those of Jesus. A woman goes to Buddha, her child is dead and she is crying and weeping, and she is a widow and she will never have another child, and the only child is dead, and that was all her love and all her attention.
But what did Buddha do? Buddha smiled and said to her: "You go into town and just find a few mustard seeds from a house where nobody has ever died."
And the woman rushed into the town, and she went to each house..And wherever she went they said; "We can give you as many mustardseeds as you want, but the condition will not be fulfilled-bacause so many people have died in our house." Again and again it happened.
But she hoped.."Maybe...who knows?" There may be some house soemwhere that has not known death."
And she went around and around the whole day. By the evening a great understanding dawned on her: "Death is a part of life.It happens. It is not something personal, it is not a personal calamity that has happened to me." With that understanding she went to Buddha.
He asked: "Where are the mustard seeds?"
And she smiled, and fell at his feet and she said, "Initiate me. I would love to know that which never dies. I don't ask for my child back, because even he is given to me, he will die again.
Teach me something so that I can know inside myself that which never dies"

~~~~~~

Once the pain of staying where you are , is greater than the fear of moving forward, you will move, out of your comfortzone, out of your limited expression..It happens sooner or later..It is evolution, the natural state of existence..